(This is a Re-Post of one of my blogs from some time back…)
It’s a good question: What’s the Secret to a Happy Marriage?
There are a lot of benefits to our little business… Diane and I are so lucky to be able to make a decent living having me go to parties and trade shows and other gatherings and draw quick-sketch entertainment caricatures. Obviously it beats working, but there are a number of more subtle aspects that work to our advantage.
I meet lots and lots of other couples when they sit together for a drawing. And I am so often impressed with the dynamics of those relationships. Some people clearly have long-running frictions between them that need to be resolved… and never will be discussed. Others are beautifully matched, helpful to each other and enjoying the marriage, the partnership that cements their lives together. What’s the secret to a happy marriage? They know, whatever it is. That is a beautiful thing and that’s what I see most often.
It’s the others that bother me. Life is so short… why do we settle for being unhappy? Lots of us do, obviously, in our marriages, our jobs, our circle of “friends.” Why is that? Really. Why??
I have a dear friend I have known all my life, who has been married close to fifty years now. And has never been happy. They both have settled for the predictable and the known rather than ending it, cutting their losses and making a try for a better life.
The apparent driving force is fear, seems to me. And that is a shame. I do not endorse divorce for anyone of course. Having been through it, there is little to recommend the experience except getting your life back. Or some semblance of it — you are never quite the same as your earlier, single self.
For a lot of us it appears the Devil You Know is preferrable.
Me? I’d rather be lonesome…
And again I speak from a blessed and happy marriage, more than two decades now with a wonderful girl I find endlessly fun and helpful and encouraging. Maybe I am just lucky here. I give thanks every day for having her in my life.